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On a more depressing note (regarding a post I wrote a few weeks ago, not because I feel this way now), here’s a good little strip to describe how often and in what situations a person like myself can enter such (what most people would describe as) strange state of mind.

depcom135

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I know it’s all in my head, I know it’ll pass, I know it’s not as bad as it feels, I know it’s stupid, and I know I probably seem like a spoiled child who just doesn’t want to lift a finger because she’s not in the mood. That’s why it feels like anyway. What’s the point?

You know those days when nothing feels worth it? Like there’s no point? Yeah, I’m there. How is it that a day that started so well, can feel so heavy at the end of it? I was in such a good today up until breakfast, but after that it just went down hill from there.

Sucks.

As I’m reading more and more of other people’s blogs about being bipolar, the more I realise that quite a few of my traits – traits that I thought were my own personality traits –¬†are actually most probably ¬†bipolar traits. Which deems the question: where do my personality traits end, and where do my bipolar traits begin? What is me and what is sickness? When all of it feels just as real as the next, how can I know what is a natural reaction? And if I don’t know myself, how can others?

Funny how in just 30 min I’ve gone from being in a good mood, to wanting to be left alone because I feel like I spend more time just keeping my mood cool in reaction to someone else, rather than just enjoying being in a good mood.