It’s funny how one thing that works for one person, is expected to work for another. Or, that if one person doesn’t get it, the whole idea is silly. I can never understand why we all do that.
Let’s, for example, take this whole thing about getting a personal trainer, just to give an example of something that isn’t a matter of life and death. This is something I really want as I don’t always have the motivation to actually do the things I need/want to do. Many, it seems, don’t get what the point is to pay someone quite a lot of money just to get bossed around. I rather think of it as a more personalised (and granted, more expensive) form of group training where the training leader actually forms its training according to ones own needs, instead of according to a groups’ needs. At least let me try it, before judging it, and especially don’t judge it because I want to try something other than that which fits your point of view about what’s unnecessary and pointless. We are not the same.
Let’s take another example, where the consequences are a little bit more serious, like choosing to take pills to help me stabilise my mood swings. Why do I have to defend my choice in taking these when you know nothing about my needs and difficulties, when you know nothing about how I for years have been struggling to deal with it on my own? Again, we are not the same.
I can think of so many more examples, and that’s what makes me so sad, because in the process of having to (feeling like one has to) defend oneself from being judged by others is why so many conform and make choices that don’t necessarily fit them personally.
Now, I don’t mean that one should never discuss the how’s and why’s of a decision that’s about to be made, but that’s the key word, isn’t it; a discussion, to help the decision maker to make a choice, where the the discussion partner, without judgement, gives constructive thoughts and perspectives.
I think I’ve been spoiled by my parents, because no matter what choices I made in life, they barely ever judged me, they let me make my mistakes and learn from them. They let me become my own person, without having to conform to that which has been right and correct for them. I hope, that if I ever get children, that I will never give them reason to doubt themselves, or try to make them conform to my concepts of right and wrong.
Basically; guys, leave your judgements outside the door, before entering my little space of reflection. At least if you want me to value or listen to anything you have to say.
Update: It seems I’m not the only one (although I never thought I was) who thinks its better to not listen to the norm, just because that glove fits for others.