If anyone who’s read my last few posts would say that they think I’m manic, I wouldn’t blame them. I would say the same. Strangely though, when I look at how I actually have felt and look at the curve in the iMoodJournal that I’ve started using, then I’m in a pretty good place. Not really manic, but just happy and on the go. My hubby’s bad mood when he woke up today barely affected me emotionally. I just didn’t feel like letting it effect me, and saw it for what it was; a bad morning, which anyone can have.
When I reflect on my physical signs then I only have a slight, barely shake, and my heart isn’t pumping. Finally, my thoughts aren’t spinning. I have a lot of things I want to do and get started with, but I feel like I’m looking at it pretty calmly and rationally. Maybe because I’ve scheduled it all, making it easier for me to know that I have time set for this and that, and don’t need to feel stressed. Also, it makes it easier to get a birds eye view over how much stuff I got going on, so I can rationally look at if I have the time for something else that I find interesting at the moment. For example, I really want to start learning jujitsu, but looking at when it is, and looking at the things I have going on, and how much time they take, it becomes obvious that I don’t have time for it. It’s a little annoying because I feel like life is too short for all the things I want to do, but it’s a fact of life isn’t it?
I asked my hubby if he thought I was acting manic right now and he didn’t think so.
So, where am I at, when I don’t want to sleep, feel like there’s not enough time or anything and about to start up what most people would say is “a million” things at the same time… but am otherwise calm. Emotionally, mentally, and physically?
It’d be nice to think that I’m just being an active “normal” person.