You know how I can tell that my mood’s off? I get really pissed instead of annoyed. Early busses for example, annoy me. Right now, I’m seething. Granted, that damn buss almost always leaves earlier than it’s supposed to, and even when I feel like I leave the apartment on time, I’m just in time to see the buss close its doors and start driving off, half a block away. I don’t get it.

Anyway, this is actually a really good example of my mood confusion that I’ve written about earlier. It’s valid I be annoyed, right? At least it feels like it. But maybe the reaction is not quite right. What should the reaction be? In this case, I can change my own behaviour and leave a little earlier, but when it comes to other people? Should I just accept the behaviour an change my own? There’s a quote people like to throw around by Steven Winterburn “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” Usually I’d agree with this sentiment, but does it also apply to people like me who’s logical thinking is a little… impaired? Granted, it’s not always impaired, but since it always feels like a valid emotion, how do I know when?

I’m sure that this is where I hear the argument that if it still feels the same in a week or so, do something about it, but until then leave it alone. Also a good point, and something I’d agree with usually, but I don’t usually go around thinking about things constantly (note “usually”, I realise I’m obsessing about this subject right now), and my moods ensure that the things I enjoy aren’t constant. “If the feeling is that fleeting, maybe it’s not really anything to put so much value into?” But that would mean that nothing that I feel can be taken seriously; ie, swallow it and ignore it.

…because that seems super healthy.


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