Yesterday I had “fika” with a girl that I’ve gotten to know slightly by way of Björn. Pretty cool chick, and I liked her so much, in fact, I realised that I miss having a so called “best friend”. I’m not saying that this specific person had to become my new BFF, but it was a pretty good feeling to hang out with someone who I felt was so much like myself, who seemed to actually have enough empathy to put herself in my situation, and who I, in turn, actually found interesting enough to actually be interested in what she had to say. I know I sound like a pompous ass, when saying it, but that doesn’t happen very often. At least, it hasn’t happened for a very long time.
I hope that I can one day be lucky enough to be able to call this woman a friend, but first I think I need to figure out this puzzle called “friendship”! How are they built? How are they formed? How is it that some people just “find” each other, seemingly without effort, when it’s such a curiosity to me? The process of friendship is truly such a mystery, because to me the process of friendship never feels quite to natural. Rather, I liken it to the near overwhelming nervousness some may feel to hanging out with the girl or boy they like. I’ve never quite experienced that, but in regard to making friends, I feel it every single time.
Writing this I realise that it most probably has to with self-confidence. If I should continue with the comparison of liking a boy, then it’s the persons self-confidence that influences how comfortable one is with asking the person one likes for a date, right? It’s probably the same thing with friendship. It would only be natural for people to get a little ill at ease with me, if I myself am not relaxed. As such, just as people would be more attracted to people who are self-confident and it only stands to reason that people would be more comfortable to hang out with someone who’s comfortable in their own skin and their environment.