Jealous much?

MIA one day and then two in one day. Not so unusual I guess. When I need to write, I need to write! … And besides, I haven’t been feeling so bad lately. Today has not been a good day though, almost felt like I was going to get a panic attack. My heart was thumping, my hands were shaking, and if it wasn’t for the fact that I had meetings and such today, I would’ve gone home, because I was forcing myself into doing the things I needed to get done. I guess it doesn’t help that my body is aching to bits from the training I did monday! 🙂 On a serious note though, it is getting a little worrying that it’s getting so bad, that I’m so desperately waiting for a few extra days off, like the ones I’m getting in two weeks. I am lately also often finding that I’m doubting myself, which is never a good thing, and probably the reason why I’m feeling to panicky about everything. Work just isn’t as enjoyable when I’m constantly checking myself (even if it’s a healthy habit in moderate doses.

I’m glad things seem to be going so well for Björn however. This is last week working for his dad, after which he will be starting his own company, which I think is pretty awesome. Especially as he has so many things practically getting thrown his way, without even having started it yet! Wish I could do it with him, but for one, I know nothing of the business he’s getting into (programming) and I’m not sure it would be such a good idea to actually get into bed with him both privately AND professionally. I’m a little jealous of him for doing his own thing, and thus being able to be as flexible as he now will be, while at the same time knowing that the business I’m in wouldn’t really be able to offer the freedom Björn can get through his anyway, as it’s a more “human-based” job than that of programming. 😉

However, I am getting more and more convinced that project-based jobs are more my thing than having a set job that I have to go to 5 days a week, but maybe that’s wishful thinking as well? I guess there’s no way of knowing until one does it. My dream situation however, based on how my mind is and how I seem to be, is working 4 days a week, with a check equal (at least) to the one I have right now. But that’s everyone’s dream, isn’t it? 😉 Maybe 4 days a week every other week?

Ah well, life is what it is. I really shouldn’t complain, because I do, at the end of the day, have a really good job, I get very well payed considering how new I am, and most people are happy with the work I put into it. I just have a lot to learn (which in the long run is good, because I get bored so easily), it isn’t a long time job, which is exactly what I wanted, and I’m learning a lot. Also good. So at the end of the day? I just shouldn’t complain. 😉


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