For the past couple of days I tried finding the motivation to write every day, but that has proven not to be a good use of this blog, as, well, I haven’t written in a few days. Last night when falling asleep I realised why. It’s because I write about emotions, and for one, if happy, there isn’t that much to say other than “I’m happy” and then continue on in pure diary form, the events of the day. Boring. No reflection, no thought, just “I’m happy” because not much thought is really necessary for such a positive emotion. Secondly, unless I’m in a state of complete disarray, where pretty much the only way for me to go is up, there’s no point in dredging up thoughts and emotions every day that dredge up feelings of inadequacy or incompetence. Because that’s the way it is with me, I constantly analyse, reflect, and think about how I feel, or about what I do, that I don’t need to give it more room to do so. Although being thoughtful and reflective are good qualities, there’s a limit to how much of it is within the realms of healthy and unhealthy.
I’m starting to wonder if maybe that’s my problem in general with life. That so much of my mind is taken up with things like these, that I don’t/can’t absorb other things. Maybe it’s a good idea then, to have this application readily available so that constructive thoughts, well thought-out thoughts (with a beginning and an end, so that I don’t get stuck in just one part, just to forgo the actual learning aspect of the reflection), get the space that it needs, so that I can leave it, and move on.
This of the day, when I’m on the train to work, is probably an ideal time for this then. Because this is when so much of the thinking gets done.